Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Ineveitable Year End List Part Deux

Here are some more for the year end list:

Person Of The Year: Of course it's Barak Obama. You don't really get a bigger and better story than a black man making it to the house black men built. Add this to the fact that prior to this he did absolutely nothing and it makes for quite a saga. Now let's pray that the crap shoot works.

Worst Person Of The Year: It's just gotta be the "Grinch" Bernard Madoff. He broke the bank, in fact several banks. 50 billion dollars gone and one person has already blown his brains out over the loses.

People Who Got The Biggest Bum Rap This Year: Bill Ayers who used to be a memeber of the "Weather Underground" and was a suspected bomber but never convicted and who now is an older expert on education in the Chicago area. In order to lower people's opinion of Obama, Ayers past and links to Obama were dragged through the mud. To Ayers credit he said nothing. The other person who got caught in the whirlwind of besmerching Obama was the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, a firey Chicago preacher who married the Obama's. He was assailed for sermons that he gave. The only problem way, he was dead right on in everything he said.

Biggest Bummer Of The Year: The death of '50's pin-up icon Bettie Page and the death of Paul Newman who has been in movies for most of my life. Both of them left this world in great shape having left us with only great memories.

Biggest Story Of The Year: It would have been the election, but then the ecomomy went into the dumper and pushed it to the side. This had an effect on all of us. The bad part is that this may be an even bigger story next year.

The Best Non-American Non-story : Brit comedian Russell Brand invites Brit Tv presenter Jonathan Ross onto his BBC Radio Show. They then called Andrew Sachs whose only major claim to fame was that he played Manuel, the waiter on "Fawlty Towers".  Ross then let loose to Sach's machine that Brand had fucked his grandaughter. Courtesy of the Guardian here is the transcript of what went on:

Russell Brand: Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand … you are meant to be on my show now mate … I am here with Jonathan Ross. I could still do the interview to your answerphone.

Jonathan Ross: Let's do it …

Brand: Man … er, Andrew Sachs.

Ross: Don't call him Manuel, that's really bad manners. I apologise for Russell - he's an idiot.

Brand: I said Andrew Sachs! Look Andrew Sachs I have got respect for you and your lineage and your progeny, never let that be questioned.

Ross: Don't hint …

Brand: I weren't hinting! Why did that come across as a hint?

Ross: Because you know what you did…

Brand: That wasn't a hint …

Ross: He fucked your granddaughter!

[laughter in the studio]

Brand: That's his answerphone!

Ross: I'm sorry … I apologise Andrew, I apologise, I can't help it, you were talking about it and it was in my head, I apologise.

Brand: Jonathan!

Ross: I got excited, what can I say, it just came out.

Brand: Right. you wait till I come on your show. Andrew Sachs I did not do nothing with Georgina … oh no, I revealed I know her name! Oh no, it's a disaster! Abort, abort! Put the phone down, put the phone down, code red, code red! I'm sorry Mr Fawlty, I'm sorry. You're a waste of space! Oh no, Jonathan …

Ross: Why did you tell me? I forgot. You mentioned her and then it was in my head and then it came out.

Brand: I know you can't be blamed for this … It's too much for you …

Ross: He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine.

Brand: What's going to happen? I will get a call now from the satanic sluts.

Ross: If he is like most people of a certain age he has probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they were young and innocent right by the phone. So while he is listening to the message he is looking at a picture of her when she was about nine on a swing …

Brand: She was on a swing when I met her … let's ring back Andrew Sachs.

[They call for a second time]

Ross: Hello! Manuel here!

Sachs: [his answer machine message] Sorry I can't answer at the moment …

Brand: [interrupting] … I am too busy thinking about killing myself … Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I am so sorry about the last message - it was part of the radio show, it was a mistake … The truth is I am phoning you to ask if I can marry - that's right, marry - Georgina the granddaughter.

Ross: And I would like to be a page boy.

Brand: He wants to be a page boy, we are going to have a Fawlty Towers-themed wedding.

Ross: Now you've spoilt it!

Brand: No! I made it better. I'm sorry, I'll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down! Oh what's going to happen. Look I've got a mental illness. Do you think that made it better?

Ross: You will never become king rat in the Variety Club now.

Brand: Oh no, that's over for me now … Jonathan I think we've made the situation worse ... We've got to stop upsetting Manuel. This time Jonathan I'm convinced we can make it better.

Ross: Let's just sing to him.

Brand: I'll make up something as I go along…

[Third message]

Brand: [singing…] I'd like to apologise for the terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs, I would like to show contrition to the max, Andrew Sachs. I would like to create world peace, between the yellow, white and blacks, Andrew Sachs, Andrew Sachs. I said something I didn't have oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter. But it was consensual and she wasn't menstrual, it was consensual lovely sex. It was full of respect I sent her a text, I've asked her to marry me, Andrew Sachs …

Ross: This has made it worse, you have trivialised the whole incident.

Brand: Hang up, hang up! It's trivialised it!

Ross: You know there is one way we could possibly make it better …

Brand: We can keep ringing, and even after the show's finished, kick his front door in and scream apologies into his bottom.

Ross: Hello, Manuel is not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone…

[Fourth message]

Brand: I am sorry, I am so sorry … that I had a difficult life, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Andrew. Let's just take some time together, we can meet up.

Ross: You're making it worse, just say sorry.

Brand: Jonathan Ross is sorry as well, it was his idea … Sorry about everything that's ever happened …

[Later]

Brand: No one could have been offended by anything that went on in that show.

Ross: Who could possibly be offended by anything there? If they were they are crazy people.

Brand: If Andrew Sachs listens to his answerphone message when he gets it …

Ross: The saving grace is you didn't have anything to do with his granddaughter did you?

Brand: Oh actually I did, I slept with her, but it was ultimately undermined, not undermined, underlined with love.



On the day after the incident only a handful of people called the "Beeb" to complain.   Three weeks later due to excessive tabloid coverage that blew it way out of proportion over 30,000 called in their disgust even though most of them never heard the broadcast. It had reached critical mass and resulted in Brand quiting his radio show to pursue a movie career and the BBC putting Ross on unpaid suspension from his TV shows.  The world economy including Britain's was in turmoil, but this was the big story.  And we thought we were the only ones who could get trivial.


Having said all of this there is only one thing left and that is to wish all of you,

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Inevitable Year End List

Time now for the first annual "Bennies".

Entertainment:

Best Movie: I've got to give it to "Slumdog Millionaire". It accomplishes something that very hard to do, have a happy ending that doesn't make you want to vomit. It also does what a good film does best and that is immerse you into a world you could never be in. Danny Boyle is an amazing director who can turn out such an ugly world as the one he presented in "Trainspotting" that was devoid of any beauty and then to be able to turn out such an uplifting film as this. He is one of the best directors out there and never does the same movie twice. If there is a film that comes closest to matching this work it has to be "The Wrestler", which brings us to our next category.......

Best Actor (male or female): Mickey Rourke is the best actor in year of great performances. At first you wonder if he is just being himself and soon come to realize that he is showing you some amazing acting chops. This kind of movie has been done a thousand times but Rourke makes it feel brand new. If there was honorable mention in this category it would have to go to Michael Sheen in "Frost/Nixon" who has the more difficult of the two roles and the one that doesn't chew up the scenery.

Best Animated Film: It's a toss up between "Wall-E" because as always it is a gorgeously computer animated Pixar film and "Bolt" which via John Lassiter has the Pixar tock and is just plain fun. The worst has to be the dull and uninspired "Madagascar 2".

Best Supporting Actor (male or female): OK so I'm blinded by the fact that I have adored this actress of years, but the fact is that even in mediocre pictures she raises them up. Marisa Tomei's performance in "The Wrestler" is an example of just that. Sure she goes topless and that's enough to give her any award without asking questions, but in a film with Rourke's bravura performance, she still makes the level rise even higher. Runner-up and certainly the male Oscar contender would have to be Heath Ledger for "The Dark Knight. Each time I watch it his performance gets better and better.

Best Director: Simple Danny Boyle for "Slumdog Millionaire". Runner-up in my mind is Sam Mendes for "Revolutionary Road" another really fine film which deserves your attention.

Best Documentary: My favorite category and the winner is "Man On Wire".  This one will have you on the edge of your seat.  In 1972 tightrope walker Phillipe Petite did the impossible by stretching a cable across the then standing towers of the World Trade Center and continued with the impossible by walking across it.   This is a film you just can't dislike.  It's hard to take your eyes off the screen in this masterpiece.  Believe it is the best of the year.

Best DVD: It is definitely the Blu-Ray edition of "How The West Was Won". This Cinerama gem from the past has been restored to a pristine picture and most of those pesky seam lines in this 3 camera process have been removed. It is also presented in a format called "Smile-Box" which approximates the curve of the "Cinerama" screen, thus truly presenting it in its original format. There is a letterbox version as well and a 90 minute documentary on the process with scenes from many of the "Cinerama" travelogue style films including the iconic rollercoaster ride. The packaging is great as well feeling more like a book than a DVD. All these things come together to make one of the best DVD's ever. Runnerup is the Blu-Ray of "The Dark Knight" with it's mix of letterbox and IMAX footage

Best TV Drama: No question here. I first saw "Life On Mars" when it was a hit BBC series. I liked it but had a hard time wrapping my head around it because it was about British police and my frame of reference just wasn't there. When I heard that they were making an American version I balked. Most American attempts at retooling British shows have been abysmal. Shows like "Viva Blackpool" changed to Laughlin here were a disaster and "Worst Week" while successful I don't feel fared much better. So it was with great trepidation that I watched ABC's version of "Life On Mars" and much to my surprise it wasn't just good, it was great! After a bad start of producer and cast changes, that would doom other shows, this one flourished. The plot sounds stupid, but it works. Sam Tyler, a New York City detective in 2008 is hit by a car and when he gains consciousness to find himself in 1973 working in the same precinct. A fish out of water he finds it hard to deal with the vigilante style of his peers. Sam is played by Irish actor Jason O'Mara and his boss by Harvey Keitel who really puts this thing over the top. Add to them Gretchen Moll and Michael Imperioli who manages to exorcise his "Sopranos" rep. Great cast, great writing all add up to the best show of the year. The runner-up (and very close) "Mad Men" which never disappoints.

Best Comedy Series: OK, kill me, but I love "Big Bang Theory". There is nothing funnier than nerds and genius nerds are even funnier. I'm sorry, I always get big laughs from this show about science geeks. What I especially like is that producer/creator Chuck Lorre doesn't make the sexy girl next door stupid. She's not up to them IQ wise but she is better grounded and finds them amusing and is an anchor to their skewed reality. No cheap sitcom shots here, just smart and funny writing. My Runner-up is a hilarious but stupid show "Testees". No, it's not about balls, it's about two guys who work as test subjects for a testing lab. It makes me laugh, so shoot me. I have to mention "30 Rock" and that while it has come up a little short this year is still very funny.

Best News Program: "Frontline" on PBS. You learn more from this program that a;most any other source in any other medium. The worst has to be "Meet The Press" which always gets accolades although I can't figure out why. Question? Where the fuck is the press?

Next we'll check out our best and worst of other stuff.

Monday, December 29, 2008

A Protest of Another Kind

By Tom Yamaguchi

I must admit to feeling conflicted about Barack Obama's decision to have Rick Warren give the invocation at the inauguration. I have finally decided protest is appropriate, but not because of his stand on gay marriage. Let me explain.

Like many, my initial reaction was disbelief. Why invite him when there are other ministers who do good work without carrying Rick Warren's baggage? But is it worth going through all the effort to force him off the program? After all, it's only an invocation. He is not being nominated to a cabinet post or, worse, to the Supreme Court. It is mostly a ceremonial position, similar to being named an honorary chairperson of the Inauguration Committee that currently includes openly lesbian House Representative Tammy Baldwin.

Let's face it. Warren is not going to be uninvited no matter what we think. Obama obviously sees political advantage to having him there. Warren is an ally in the fight against global warming. That sets him apart from a lot of fundamentalists who are climate change deniers. Considering the current gridlock in Washington on enacting laws to reduce greenhouse gases, having Warren as access to faith-based communities makes a lot of sense.

So wouldn't inviting Warren be like inviting the Nazis and KKK? I have trouble with equating Warren and the Saddleback Church with those who have committed terrorism and genocide. I don't believe Warren hates LGBT people, and I have yet to read any statements by Warren that could incite acts of violence against us. Yes, the statements on marriage equality are ignorant, but I don't find them hateful. Besides, why should I care if Rick Warren believes I am going to hell? I am a person of faith, but I don't believe in the hell that Warren imagines. I don't believe in a god or goddess that would punish two people for being in love.

I support marriage equality, but I can't paint those who oppose it with the broad brush of homophobia. Believe it or not, there are people who are not homophobic but have trouble with the concept of gay marriage. They can accept domestic partnerships. They are with us when it comes to ending job discrimination, increasing penalties on hate crimes, and repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Why can't we work with these people on the issues where we agree? Why does marriage have to be the litmus test for deciding who are friends are? Do we have to adopt George Bush's "my way or the highway" mentality?

I'm not saying we should just shut up and give Obama a free pass. Warren's religious views are ridiculous and need to be ridiculed. The questions are how to protest and why we are protesting. It would be a mistake to boycott the inauguration as leaders of some LGBT organizations have suggested. If we don't show up, others will he happy to take our places, especially those who think Rick Warren is a great idea. We could show up and just turn our backs when Warren speaks, but how uncreative. Hey, we're gay people! We need a protest that is more, well, gay!

This is my protest idea. If you are going to the inauguration, take a toy dinosaur and a Barbie doll. If you don't have a Barbie you could bring a GI Joe or other human-type doll. You can choose any kind of dinosaur, even Barney, if you like. When Warren launches into his invocation, take your dinosaur and doll in each hand and wave them in front of you. Have them interact, just the way the folks at Saddleback believe real humans and dinosaurs interacted at the beginning of time. That was 5,000 years ago, right? If you're like me and will not be freezing your buns off in Washington, you and your friends can protest in front of the TV.

Wave your dolls and dinosaurs to show Obama how this choice sends the wrong message. This is the same Obama who has committed himself to restoring science to its proper place for policymaking in government. Obama has nominated Nobel winning scientists to important positions in his administration. He assures us his science team won't be afraid to confront inconvenient truths when it comes to solving our energy and environmental crises. Then he contradicts that message by promoting a man who believes the Bible is literally true. Warren does believe that God created Earth within a period of days and put dinosaurs and humans here at the same time. His extinction theory is that dinosaurs failed to survive Noah's great flood.

It's no wonder his ideas on homosexuality are screwed up. All of his ideas on biology are screwed up. It's a miracle he understands global warming. At least he doesn't agree with Evangelicals who see no reason to clean up the environment because Jesus is coming back and the world will be ending soon anyway.

We can let Rick Warren give his invocation, but let us not lose the opportunity for a teaching moment. Our protest can be that teaching moment. It wasn't Adam and Steve. It wasn't Adam and Eve. And it sure wasn't Fred Flintstone and Dino.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Sunday Funnies 12/28/2008

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the craziest fuck I have ever known.  Bob Rubin for years has been one of the most inventive comics to come along.   I think you'll agree there is no one quite like him.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

THE RAPE OF AMERICA

by Bruce David
Editorial Director Hustler

They are destroying our country. Who, you ask? Wall Street, the multi-national corporations, the oligarchs. We’re watching it happen right before our eyes and yet we barely comprehend what we are seeing. Our country is being looted. The Wall Street bailout is a perfect example. Seven hundred billion dollars of our tax money is going to pay the very people who caused our financial crisis while their corporate CEOs and CFOs continue to get their huge bonus’s and their share holders continue to collect their dividends. But it’s even worse than that. 

Did you know that Goldman Sachs, which got ten billion dollars in debt guarantees from our government in October, made 2.3 billion in profit this past year, according to Bloomberg.com? Shouldn’t all that profit go back to the American people? Apparently our government is only getting back 1 percent of it, since the rest of that money is hidden in off shore accounts and countries with lower taxes. Wouldn't you love to be taxed on only 1 percent of your income? But, of course, only the fat cats — i.e., the crooks who run this country — get away with that kind of bullshit.

Then there’s Senator Robert Corker (R-TN), the guy who torpedoed the Detroit auto loans. He blamed the unions for the auto manufacturers mess, arguing that Detroit’s unions should give back some of the gains they’ve made over the last sixty years. Of course, the unions have already made concession after concession. We’re only a few more give backs away from seeing the destruction of all unions in this country. (When Reagan took office, approximately 25 percent of America's jobs were unionized, today it's 7 percent.) And that’s exactly what the GOP wants; a corporate America unconstrained by organized labor, able to pay as little as they want, no matter what conditions laborers are forced to endure. 

The real corker -- if you will -- about the Senator’s position is that he supported the $250,000 per job (of taxpayer money) Nissan received to build a plant in Tennessee yet he voted against the Detroit bailout knowing it would only amount to $5000 per job. The latter would (hopefully) save America’s manufacturing base while the Nissan bonanza rewards Japan. In essence, Corker's position is un-American.

Now, as that piece of shit George W. Bush leaves office, he is issuing a bunch of “rules” which include granting immunity to drug companies (so you can’t sue them when your child dies because of their negligence) and railroad companies (should a train carrying toxic waste tip over onto your house). Bush has even been so bold as to issue a rule saying it’s okay if a Wall Street broker sells you something without disclosing a conflict of interest. He is, in effect, legalizing corporate crime.

The net result of all this: You and I have less money, our corporate masters have more. Or, pretty soon, the way things are going, they will have it all.

Stand up America! If you don’t fight now -- if you count on Obama to save us while you sit on the couch watching American Idol -- you deserve what you get. Unfortunately, you’ll take me down with you.

PS: For more on Bush’s rule changes go to: http://oklahomacity.injuryboard.com/fda-and-prescription-drugs/wall-street-journal-bush-rule-changes-could-block-productsafety-suits.aspx?googleid=249438

PPS: Fuck Albert Reinoso

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

More Nostalgia for Richard Nixon

Here a contribution from long time fan and friend Tom Yamaguchi

Paul Krassner has said that the presidency of George W. Bush has made him nostalgic for the Nixon years. Remember those Good Old Days of Watergate with Nixon on tape talking about hush money for the Watergate burglars? "We could do that," Nixon said, "but it would be wrong." That shows the difference between Nixon and Bush, according to Krassner. At least Nixon knew what he was doing was wrong.

As this election year of 2008 draws to a close, let us celebrate more reasons to be nostalgic for Nixon. For instance, remember how John McCain and the Republicans called Obama a socialist for wanting to end Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy? Obama wants to redistribute the wealth, they said. Historians have noticed the irony of McCain calling our progressive income tax a socialistic system while gushing that Teddy Roosevelt was the President he admires the most. TR is largely responsible for the creation of our modern income tax. Yes, Teddy the Republican wanted to tax the rich. He called himself a progressive and would later seek the presidency as a nominee of the Progressive Party. But even as a socialist, Nixon has Teddy beat. When he ran for President in 1968, Nixon had a plan he called the New Federalism. A part of that plan was a negative income tax or Guaranteed Annual Income. Those who failed to earn the minimum amount that kept them out of poverty would be paid the difference by the government. Everyone would be guaranteed an income. Or, as the Republicans today would say, Nixon wanted to redistribute the wealth.

So Nixon was a socialist? How about Communist? Nixon did go to Communist China and opened up trade with the Communist Chinese government. But don't feel too bad Republicans. By going to China, Nixon may have ended the Cold War. At least that is the way Al Haig sees it. Haig was Nixon's Chief of Staff and Reagan's Secretary of State. In a recent interview with the conservative new magazine Newsmax, Haig says that Nixon had more to do with the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War than anything Reagan did. In fact, Haig admits that Reagan did little during his presidency, having never fully recovered from the assassination attempt. Haig goes on to admit that the Soviet system was doomed to failure anyway. The collapse was only a matter of time. But he credits Nixon, not Reagan, for the hastening of that collapse, telling Newsmax, “I happen to think China and that initiative is the most important foreign policy event of the century, and has proven to be so."

Haig blames the neocons for the mess we are in today, including our deteriorating relations with Russia and the disastrous handling of the Iraq War. Nixon was definitely not a neocon. That's probably the best reason to be nostalgic.



Link to Newmax.com interview with Alexander Haig:
http://www.newsmax.com/headlines/haig_obama/2008/12/14/161751.html?s=al&promo_code=749A-1

The Blame Game

By Rick Snay

The reports are NOT good: the U.S. economy lost more jobs in 2008 than it has since 1974 (after 6 years of Republican leadership). Of course, no one on the Republican side is blaming George W. Bush or his supply-side economic policies (which add up to "supply the top one percent of wealth-holders with more and more wealth"). No, as usual, they're casting around for places to put the blame other than on the people who have been in charge for eight years.

Just before the election, I spoke with a Republican who told me we were in trouble if Obama won. What we needed, she told me, was for John McCain to get in there and continue the policies of the Bush administration because, after all, our current economic problems all started under Bill Clinton. 

Now, those who know me best will tell you I have major issues with a LOT of what Clinton did while in office, but there is NOTHING he could have done that could have taken eight years to wreck the economy this bad. True, he did some things that contributed to the atmosphere under which the economy collapsed, but Bush continued and enhanced those errors and added many, MANY of his own. 

Blaming someone else for everything is a standard Republican tactic, though. When Ronald Reagan took office in 1981, he implimented "trickle-down" economics on America. He managed to give the appearance of a healthy economy by what amounted to writing bad checks. He ran up a HUGE deficit, bigger than all other presidents COMBINED. When a recession hit two years into his presidency, the Republicans said it was due to Jimmy Carter's policies. Thus was born the idea that anything that happened during a presidency had to be attributed to the four years prior. 

What followed the Reagan years was a deep recession under George the first. So that was Reagan's fault, right? Don't we have to blame that on the guy who was in office four years before it happened? No, the Republicans said...it was the Democrats in Congress. 

Following Bush, Clinton took office. He managed to repair the economy and get America back to work. Of course, that old rule of "the guy before" suddenly applied again, as the Republicans said it was really the policies of George H. W. Bush that were just then starting to work. When George W. Bush followed Clinton and the economy tanked, they called it "the Clinton recession". 

Now, after eight years, the economy is worse than it ever was. Since Bush was in office four years ago, we have to blame him, right? Nope. It's still Clinton. OR, in some Republican circles, it's due to the "flawed leadership" of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Leader Harry Reid, who took over only last year. This is especially ridiculous considering the fact that very little of what the Democrats have tried to do since gaining the majority in both houses of Congress has gotten through.   The constant filibuster threats from Republicans have effectively obstructed any kind of agenda the Dems might have had. 

When Barack Obama takes the oath of office in January, he will face the largest deficit in the history of the planet. He'll face an economy in meltdown and a jobless rate that is downright frightening. It will take time to right the wrongs. But how much do you want to bet that within months Republicans will be blaming Obama for the poor economy? And how much more would you like to bet that by the end of his first term, when (as always happens) the Democrat has repaired the Republican damage and the nation is again on a healthy path, those same Republicans will be saying the credit should go to Bush?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Obama Blows It!

Rick Warren is a religious hustler.  He runs a mega-church out in Lake Forest, California called The Saddleback Church from which he preaches his self indulgent Gospel.   Having written a 30 million copy best seller "The Purpose Driven Life" that is second in sales only to the Bible, he was thrust into the national limelight.   From there he has been on a quest to be the next Billy Graham.   The only problem is that he really has the potential to be the next Jerry Falwell with whom he shares an uncanny likeness.

What makes the guy so creepy, besides the fact that he is a religious hustler, is that his right wing opinions are of the sort that if there was a God he would be struck down on the spot.   First of all he is against gay marriage.  Compounding this, in a recent interview he said "you wouldn't want an older man marrying a child or a man marrying a horse".   Imagine that, equating being gay with pedophilia and bestiality.   That's good 'ol Rick for you.  Add to this his allegiance to creationism which amounts to scientific stupidity and his stand against a woman's right to choose.  In short, he's a fuckin' sleezebag to anyone who feels that he and his beliefs are totally immoral.

If Rick Warren did his thing and kept to himself and his flocked sheep, then I suppose that is something between them.   But he is now inflicting himself on Americans like you and me.   During the election he hosted and moderated an evening with Barack Obama and John McCain.
It wasn't a debate.  Each candidate sat with Warren individually.  How he got this coup is beyond me as I have always believed that there is supposed to be a separation between church and state.

Now this whole scenario has taken an ugly turn.  President-Elect Obama on December 17th asked him to give the invocation at the inauguration.   What the hell was Obama thinking?  Is he nuts?   It's bad enough that religion has a place at a federal function but to invite a homophobe-creationist to give the invocation makes you begin to wonder if Obama is really this other person than the one we voted for.

Obama claims that he always said he wanted to be the President of all Americans and to seek inclusion of everyone.   Does this then include the KKK or the American Nazi Party?  Of course not because they are intolerant of others just like Rick Warren.

Gay groups feel betrayed and justly so.  People like myself are having second thoughts about the guy and he hasn't even taken office.

In California Proposition 8, the anti gay marriage measure, went down to defeat.   Many feel the reason it did was the black vote which was higher than usual due to Obama's candidacy. It was said that 69% of the black voters voted against gay marriage thus putting the measure over the top.  The reason given was the high church going among blacks, couple this with a general prejudice by black males against gay men.

I'm not saying that all this is necessarily true.  But if so, then Obama comes into this category of a church going black male who by the way has said he's against gay marriage.   That is probably the reason why he sees nothing wrong with Rick Warren.

Obama should really rethink this thing.   He's getting off to a bad start with the very people who cared about him.   This was a disastrous decision  on his part and if he can make such a bone-headed move like this so early on, what's going to happen when he has the power.

I'd hate to think that we've been fooled again! 

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Happy Evicted From The Vagina Day

Gee can it be?  Yet another birthday is here or as I like to think of it, a little closer to "the grave ever yawning" as John Cleese once described it to me.

I have always had a great fear of death, so the prospect that with every year that goes by the cataclysm gets to be more of a possibility doesn't rest well.  I suppose that the thing that scares me most about death is not knowing you are dead.  Non existence isn't something I could ever wrap my brain around.  My father used to tell me that I had been there and pointed out that I was non-existent  before I was born.   After that I had trouble going to sleep pondering that one.

I suppose if you believe in God then what happens after we have shuffled off this mortal coil is an easy one to live with.  You die, God says "hello" in a cheery voice and it's off to the Elysian Fields.   It's all happy and warm and wax lips abound in the happy land of death.

Wait a minute, hold on!  Does this mean I'm going to be with all my relatives, you know, the ones I could barely wait to get away from at family occasions?   Does that mean I have to put up with church music all the time?  Which way to hell?   Flames may lick your ass, but at least you'll be with the fun people.   You can always find a good hooker or a joint to light with the eternal flames of hell.  I could never get with the whole God thing.  It just made no real sense, but I'm sure if there is a God he will admire my honesty and forgive me.

Bettie Davis summed it up best when she said "old age ain't for sissies".   Everything starts to fall apart.   Your eyes start to go, the prostate has it's way with you, you fart more and getting up out of a chair is always accompanied by a guttural "Uhh".   The worst part I feel is agility. Gone are the days of hopping over anything.  I get envious of people who can stand on a chair to change a light bulb without having to hold onto something,

"Girlfriend" wants to cremate me.  I'll wind up in an urn in her storage locker in Pennsylvania next to her parents.   Then when she dies and the fee for the unit goes unpaid they will empty out the locker and throw the stuff away. My whole existence will have ended up in a dumpster near an outlet mall in Pennsylvania.

So I guess I'll just have to go on living forever.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Very funny perspective from Tim ORourke


Tim ORourke who is a friend on "Facebook" did this and I just had to share.

CORPORATE LOGOS VS. FREE SPEECH

by Bruce David
Editorial Director Hustler Magazine

If you noticed it while watching TV you must have wondered why it was happening. I’m talking about shows such as Inside Edition, Survivor and The Hills (to name a few) where a poster on a wall or an image on some one’s T shirt is blurred out so you can’t see it. The reason this happens is because of concerns about copyright infringement. About 10 or 15 years ago, the big corporations and their lawyers began to complain that a TV show, or even a magazine, was guilty of exploiting copyrighted material if they showed someone wearing, say a Nike logo on their T shirt. The image, they argued, was proprietary, belonging to the corporation and therefore could not be featured without the corporation’s permission. Lawyers actually get paid to think up this kind of crap.

Consider the following: A person is in public, walking down the street wearing a Nike T-shirt where everyone can see them. Since it's in public you might think it's fair game, no? But if you photograph them for your magazine or you video tape them for a TV show, you’re supposedly exploiting the corporation’s copyright or diminishing the value of their brand. How are you diminishing it? Well, one way you are diminishing it is simply by showing it, the lawyers would argue. “If we let everyone feature our logo,” they might say, “where will it end?” Of course, the counter and more reasonable argument would be that as long as you are not trying to expropriate the logo, no harm is done.

Here’s another scenario that might concern them: Maybe it’s Brittany Spears wearing the T-shirt and she’s just dropped her baby on its head. Lawyers would argue that your statement in publishing the pix is that Nike customers are poor parents, a dubious argument. However, one can imagine a more extreme scenario where their argument might be strengthened; Say a guy wears the T-shirt while robbing a liquor store. 

But wait! Now we’re talking about a real news story! Something that qualifies for a spot on the six o’ clock news. Do you blur that logo out too? It would certainly help identify the culprit. And if you don’t censor it for a hard news story why blur it out for a soft (gossip) style news story? In fact, why censor at all as long as you aren’t staging a scenario where the logo appears. 

It’s time that TV executives and magazine publisher’s stood up to this corporate tyranny. They should join forces in a legal battle, taking it all the way to the Supreme Court, if they have to. If something happens in public — anything at all — it should be fair game for the media, T shirts and all. Otherwise -- to turn the lawyers argument around -- where will it end?

PS: Fuck Albert Reinoso

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

THE BIRTH, DEATH, REBIRTH AND ULTIMATE LINGERING DOOM OF AIR AMERICA

This is an article Alex Bennett wrote for Hustler Magazine in 2006. While few things have changed most of it still holds up. At the end there is an update. The piece was edited by Bruce David.


David Bernstein is that rare breed in the radio business, the kind of person no one speaks bad of.

I got to know him when I was looking for work several years back. He was one of the many radio program directors I hit up for a job. A friendship developed between us.

He had been the program director for seven years at WOR, one of the country's top talk stations. When they let him go, we commiserated about being unemployed. I finally found work at Sirius Satellite Radio and David eventually found work at Air America, the floundering liberal talk network. Those who knew him couldn't have been happier. Who better to save Air America than David?

Every month or so we'd have lunch. It was in this setting that he looked across the table at me one day to say “It's all over. They're going to pull the plug!”

Could this be the end of the “great liberal hope”?

The history of Air America Radio is one of the biggest roller coaster rides in the modern radio history.

The story begins in 2000 with the firing of one of the few liberal talk show hosts in the country, Mike Malloy, from WLS in Chicago. It turned out Malloy had some great fans, including Sheldon and Anita Drobny, Chicago millionaires who wanted to see him syndicated.

There was a problem though. One reason for the proliferation of conservative talk shows was the prevailing theory of “format purity,” a dogma pushed by the top talk radio chain in the country, Clear Channel. Gabe Hobbs, their director of talk programming declared that a talk station had to be either all conservative or all progressive. “you wouldn't put a soul record on a country station,” he’s quoted as saying, “so why put a liberal talk show on a conservative talk station?”

He was dead wrong about format purity. For years the two points of view mixed it up on talk radio everywhere, to great success. This worked in part because liberals, with their open minds, would listen to a conservative, but the reverse wasn't true. Hence, larger audience numbers for the Limbaughs of the world. Some suspected that Hobb’s philosophy was really just an excuse to keep liberal thought off airwaves controlled by conservative companies.

The Drobney’s were sold the notion of 24/7 liberal radio format by Jon Sinton, whom they hired as CEO of the newly formed AnShell Media. Then they enlisted Dave Logan, a good veteran programmer. Cash poor, the enterprise was eventually sold to millionaire Evan Cohen an established (or so it seemed) money raiser and Rex Sorenson a broadcaster from Hawaii. Sinton and Logan went along and Air America was born with Progress Media as the new parent company. That was probably their first mistake; giving their new network the same name as a famous CIA owned covert airline in Southeast Asia during and after the Vietnam War.

Radio is like no other medium. It is long form (usually three hours), adlib, live, five days a week and audio only. The immediacy of the medium is unlike any other in show business. That's why you hire people who know how to do it. Air America, however, did not do that. It was their next big mistake.

Look at the lineup they first went on the air with. Their morning show was anchored by a rather mediocre stand-up comic, Marc Maron. Sam Kinison so despised Maron that he peed all over the guy’s bed at the Comedy Store digs in Hollywood. Maron’s only radio credential: he was a regular guest on my program in San Francisco for several years.

Mid mornings featured Chuck D, a politically savvy hip-hop artist. Radio experience zero. Teamed with him was a good comedian, Liz Winstead, who had created the “Daily Show,” leaving it when Jon Stewart came on board. Aside from co-hosting with Chuck D, she was named AA's VP of entertainment programming. A nice person but again, no radio cred.

Then there was Janeane Garafalo, actress, comedian, activist… no radio experience. Windstead wisely teamed Garafalo with Sam Seder who was a radio guy. Too bad they didn't get along.

The only real broadcast veteran with a proven track record was Randi Rhodes. She was a solid performer and ratings getter but, it is said, a terror to work with.

The big get, or so they thought, was Al Franken. Yes, the guy on Saturday Night Live who wrote those books bashing talk show hosts. He was OK performing for a 5-minute sketch once a week or taking a year to write a book, but this was radio. He brought a staff of producers and support people that were hated by the rest of AA’s employees because they insisted on calling themselves “Team Franken.” He took away a reported 2 million dollars a year plus the cost of his staff.

Oh, yeah. There was also the ten comedy writers who wrote for all the other shows. No radio station has done that since the 40's. The seeds for disaster had been planted. All that was left was to thrust this concoction on the American liberal public.

I know of no other radio operation getting the send-off AA did. Publicity abounded, the crown jewel being a New York Times Magazine cover with Franken's larger than life face plastered on it.

Air American launched March 31, 2004 with 6 stations. They had leased station WLIB in New York, WNTD in Chicago, WMNN in Minneapolis, KTLA in Los Angeles and KCLA in California’s Inland Empire.

Just two weeks after the debut, the first glitch appeared. The Chicago and Los Angeles stations were paid with a check for a cool million that bounced. Chicago and Los Angeles pulled the AA programming off the air. AA claimed it was a mix up. Not impressed, a judge ordered them to pay the owner $250,000. Even worse they remained off the air in both cities. AA never paid the court ordered sum.

Four weeks into this folly CEO Mark Walsh and VP for programming Dave Logan were dumped. Five weeks in, Evan Cohen and partner Rex Sorenson were forced out. Among other things Cohen claimed on launch they had raised 30 million when they’d only raised six. At this point a new company, Piquant LLC, was formed with new head, Rob Glaser, the mastermind behind Real Networks, the Internet streaming people. In little more than a year Air America had changed hands 3 times.

The biggest AA scandal involved the Gloria Wise Boys and Girls Club of Co-Op City in the Bronx. They gave an $875,000 loan to Progress Media, Air America’s owner at the time. This would have raised eyebrows even if the Director of Development for Gloria Wise hadn’t been none other than the aforementioned Evan Cohen.

As a result of the expose, the city of New York severed it’s association with The Boys and Girls Clubs of America. The new AA owners disclaimed any liability in the matter but Glaser said it was only right to pay back the loan. You can imagine how this all played in the press. It made AA look like crooks who stole from little kids.

Things were not all doom and gloom. Out on the west coast VP Ed Krampf at Clear Channel (remember them, the right wing company?) decided he would try the format on a moribund station they had in Portland, Oregon. The station zoomed to the top of the talk show market.

This inspired Clear Channel. Many of their markets had “dog signals,” stations that were low power or at a bad spot on the dial. Throw AA on those stations; get the programming free while at the same time deflecting criticism about a perceived political bias. It was a win-win formula repeated in market after market.

Before they knew it, AA was heard on over 100 stations. Hopes were high until someone realized they weren't getting good ratings anywhere and even Portland was going limp. The reason? Dull programming that had, with the exception of Randi Rhodes, a total lack of entertainment value. Wait a minute -- isn't Franken an entertainer? Maybe, but he sure wasn't entertaining at AA. His dull, droning voice didn't lend itself to radio. Garafalo had similar problems; her style didn't cut across the airwaves. Plus, there was the contentious relationship with her co-host. I'll say it again…. They weren't radio people.

A year passed before the next big mistake, the appointment of Danny Goldberg as CEO. Goldberg was a left thinking former music business executive. What did he know about radio? Do you have a thimble? He lasted little more than a year, just long enough to further drag down the operation with firings that imposed his taste and pissed off the staff.

Eventually several other execs left including Jon Sinton who was with the project since the Drobny days. This was a company in turmoil.

In July 2006, Garafalo threw in the towel. Eventually Al Franken left to run for the U.S. Senate seat from Minnesota. Franken was replaced by a liberal stalwart, Thom Hartmann who had been syndicated by AA but not on the network itself. He, at least, had a track record in radio.

You may recall the whole idea of a liberal network started with a desire to find a home for Mike Malloy, one of the most outspoken left wing commentators. Although brought into the AA fold, at the end of August 2006, he was fired among much dissent from the staff and listeners who signed a petition with 17,000 signatures. To this day no reason has been given.

October 15th, 2006, AA filed for Bankruptcy. They owed over 20 million dollars.

Enter Stephen L. Green, a multi billionaire real estate magnate and his brother Mark Green, a political activist, author and lawyer who ran for Mayor of New York in 2001. (He lost the nomination to Michael Bloomberg.) Mark, the liberal, begged brother Stephen, rumored to be a conservative, to buy out the assets of Air America including its already tarnished name. In March of 2007, the deal was completed. The Green's announced the beginning of Air America 2.0.

The lineup was revamped. Since September of 2006, mornings have been filled with a program called “The Young Turks” hosted by Cenk Uygur who created the program (prior to it being on AA) with Ben Mankiewicz. Ben left before the AA move, going to TMZ, a gossip website. This was too bad for the show because Ben was the only good thing about the Turks. The one time I worked with Uygur I wasn't able to get a word in edgewise; he wouldn't shut up for 5 seconds. No wonder Ben left. The AA show, an ego vehicle for Uygur, is terrible.

A good hire at this point was Thom Hartmann. He had been doing this sort of radio for years, the last few for Air America Syndication but not the actual network. Thom is a very knowledgeable guy. His only problem is a some what professorial delivery. Not exciting radio, but smart and intelligent.

One of the few who impressed from the first sign-on was Randi Rhodes. She has the greatest possibility of success in syndication. She is, however, an 800-pound gorilla, throwing her weight around, forcing management to put out one fire after another. One big example was a recent incident outside a New York City bar where she fell to the ground, broke two teeth and bruised her face. At first it was reported that she had been assaulted while walking her dog. Then a misguided host at AA, Jon Elliot, irresponsibly reported the assailants were right-wingers. When the dust cleared, Randi had a different story: she had been in the bar, walked outside and, the next thing she knew, she was on the pavement. “Maybe I was pushed,” she added. With three days to flesh out the story, that was all she could come up with. Most people feel she got really shit faced and collapsed.

Another holdover from the early days is Rachel Maddow. Rachel is supposedly a very nice, intelligent woman, a Rhodes scholar in fact. Her biggest problem, I am told, is that she scripts her entire 2-hour show. This is unheard of in a live medium that thrives on spontaneity. She belongs on a non-commercial NPR type station.

Shortly after the Green's took over, they hired my friend David Bernstein. He brought in an old hire from WOR in New York City. The singularly named host Lionel is a funny, sharp radio guy. He is probably the most commercially viable of the AA hosts. There is just one problem; he's not a liberal. He is a middle of the road type, sometimes leaning left, sometimes right. Not exactly a good fit for Air America.

So where do you sell this bouillabaisse of a broadcast day? At its height AA had over 100 affiliates. Today there are around 60. It's hard to get an exact count because stations are dropping them all the time while others are taking just the shows they want.

Under David Bernstein there was a move to get away from the 24/7 concept by selling shows individually. Randi Rhodes and Thom Hartmann are quite syndicatable. Lionel, on the other hand, had to clear stations at the same time as the more popular Ed Schultz. After the takeover by the Green family, Westwood One took over distribution, but they still kept on losing stations.

The big fly in AA's ointment is that, since it’s inception, more liberal talk show hosts have come to the forefront. There's the politically funny Stephanie Miller, Washington insider Bill Press, conspiracy firebrand Mike Malloy (the man for whom the Drobney's created a talk network in the first place) and finally Ed Schultz, whose overbearing “How would Rush Limbaugh sound if he was a liberal?” style has garnered him a decent size audience, albeit smaller than he claims. There are enough entertaining liberal programs to fill a whole day without once having to tap any of AA's shows. So who needs them?

This brings me back to my lunch with David Bernstein. He was certain Stephen Green was going to pull the plug on Air America. I felt bad for David. While he’d entered into this with eyes open, there was always the hope he could turn the place around. But the powers that be resisted his ideas. Getting anything to change seemed impossible. Air America 2.0 was just a slogan. Nothing had changed but the players.

What went wrong on this strange, curious journey? Just about everything. People were put in charge who didn't know a thing about radio. People were put on the air who, for the most part, didn't know how to work the medium. The few who did were shunted into the background. And the people running the finances couldn't be trusted.

The worst mistake was taking the whole thing too seriously; they had lofty, high-minded ideals, when all they should have cared about was putting on a great, entertaining show that they could be proud of.

What pisses me off about the whole misadventure is that everyone in the radio business was looking and waiting for them to fail. When they did, it became more difficult for people like myself, a left wing talker, to prove that liberal talk can work. Everyone just points to the failure of AA.

AA also let down the liberal audience expecting a radio messiah to lead them out of the neo-con Desert. These people were thirsty and all got was salt.

It turned out David was wrong. They didn't axe the network, they axed David, citing cutbacks. This from the network that once paid Al Franken 2 million dollars a year.

When I talked to David after his firing he thought Air America only had a couple of months left at best. That means when you read this it may already be gone. If Air America isn't gone, then somebody please put a bullet in it's head to end the suffering!

Update: Air America is still in business but has changed hands yet one more time. Randi Rhodes up and left to go work with Mike Malloy over at NovaM Radio owned by Sheldon Drobney. Rachel Maddow became a success over at MSNBC, but her radio show still sucks. Thom Hartmann now remains the biggest star they have and deservedly so. I'm still amazed that they are still in business.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Greatest Moment Of Zen Ever

Let's Just Call Blagojevich "Blog" And Have Done With It!

Governor Ron Blagojevich's name was largely unpronounceable to the public until last week. Now only hard part left is to spell it, but do really need to learn to spell a name that might just be a number some day?

I'm not saying that he's guilty of anything since we will leave that to his day in court.  But let us for the sake of argument say he's done all the things he is alleged to have done, he's not that unusual for Chicago and Illinois.   This sort of thing has been business as usual in the Windy City for years now.   

Remember Mayor Richard Daley the First?  I certainly do.   Way back in 1968 I landed a job in Chicago at WIND on the eve of the Democratic convention there.  It was just coincidence and you know what happened at that event.  I had come in from Minneapolis where I had been doing a talk gig and was settling into the job when our chief reporter Bernard Shaw (later of CNN) pulled me aside and told me I was being watched by the Daley secret police because I had said bad things on the air about him back where I had come from.

This was the sort of tactic that Daley felt intimidated his nay sayers.   Of course it didn't apply to me because I was in no position to comment on the son-of-a-bitch because I was just playing records.   This was my introduction to the wonderful world of the Chicago political machine.

Later that week I found myself in Lincoln park getting tear gassed and that event immediately radicalized me.   Nothing like gas or a billy club to change you from a bystander into a full grown radical.  After that I was never the same. Thank you Mayor Daley for my conversion.

So it's not surprising that nothing much has changed and the each successive politician to come to power figured that this was the way business was done.   That it was a way of making lots of money and the more power you got, the more money you pocketed.

Into all of this comes Barack Obama. It makes you wonder, just how much he may or may not have been corrupted by the process.   To believe that he had nothing to do with (cut and paste name)  Blagojevich would be naive.  But what that involvement was has a wide range.  I'd like to believe it was just putting up with the asshole as a necessary part of politics.   We really don't know a hell of a lot about our new president, so like a woman you start to date that you're crazy about at first, you never know what you're going to find out later. 

The bottom line is that politics always seems to attract the "bottom-feeders" of our society and not people like you and me who would never want power.  They take power and then feed off the public trough.   How do we change it and make it less attractive the Blagojevich's of the world?   I don't know that we can.  It seems that to them that public confidence a shiny gem of gullibility they just have to pluck.

The biggest problem is that we get to the point where we believe no one. If a honest person does come along, we've been stung so many times that we just don't trust them.

Let's hope Obama is one of the good guys.   He's all we've got!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Sunday Funnies 12/14/2008


This Sunday we thought we'd let you enjoy a person who is the best standup in America.   Years ago I dubbed him "The Pit-Bull Of Comedy" and it stuck.   Bobby Slayton and I actually met for the first time when he approached me outside of a  famous bistro 1970's called "Max's Kansas City" in New York City.   I am told by Bobby that I totally shined him off, something he has never forgiven me for.   In 1980 when I moved to San Francisco to work in radio, I was turned on to local comic.   It was Bobby and we have been friends ever since.

I don't get to see him much because he is in Las Vegas all the time.  If you go to Vegas you should go see him at the "Hooters Hotel and Casino" where he permanently hold downs his own room there. 

Friday, December 12, 2008

Bettie Page Dead At 85


Earlier this week we wrote a piece about '50's pin-up icon Bettie Page which I have reposted right under this item for your reading pleasure. We are sad to announce that she died last night at 85 in a Los Angeles hospital.    She will be missed.

My right hand is holding a death vigil

I learned late last night that the iconic pinup and bondage model of the '50s' Bettie Page had suffered a massive heart attack on tuesday and is critically ill and in a coma in Los Angeles.

As much as any other single  icon of that time, Bettie stood out as the only true representation of the sexuality of that decade.   Sure there was Marilyn Monroe but she was just Hollywood hype. Bettie was the raw real stuff that you could get your fist around and rub one out.

I have to admit that when I was a kid I was drawn to some of the kinkier images and bondage held a strange fascination for my pubescent id.   I was talking just the other day to my friend and Hustler editor Bruce David about those great pulp magazines of the fifties and their sexy covers that usually had something like a woman hung up, her bodice ripped revealing just enough of a large round firm breast to make you want more and a hovering nazi officer with a whip in hand menacing her. Now that was art!

Waltzing into this verboten sexuality came Bettie Page.   When you see photos of her in the next few days they are sure to be like the one above but her really important work was with a long forgotten sexually creative hero named John Willy.

It was with Willy that Bettie did her great bondage stuff.  In later life she would say that this was the part she most regretted and that she vastly preferred the pin-up pics.   They both worked for a middle aged nebbish named Irving Klaw who with his sister Paula ran "Movie Star News"  out of a store front on 14th street in New York City.  It was here that Klaw became known as the "pinup king".   When he first started the store sold magazines  but Klaw noticed that teenage boys were coming in, looking at the pinup mags of the day and ripping out pages when no one was looking.  So he said "fuck the magazines, I'll sell the photos".

But I digress.  This is about Bettie and that more than perfect body and whose pageboy haircut started my lifelong passion for brunettes. I never liked blondes.  They were too goody-goody.   The brunette however was nasty, wanton, slightly mean and always presented an air of mystery. Most of all they always looked like they could throw a good fuck.  That impression, firmly implanted in my brain stem for life was from Bettie who while projecting all these qualities also had a slight hint of innocence and fun.

It's funny, but while growing up in the '50's I didn't even know who she was, I just kept seeing her pictures and it wasn't until the '70's that I could actually put a name to her.

She retired after a few years.   A woman who even through her career maintained a backwoods innocence about it all.    The she got religion and disappeared.    Even in professing her love of God she never recanted anything she did.  To her the naked body was God's work and there was nothing wrong with putting it on display.  

No one has seen Bettie since then although she has resurfaced in recent years but only in audio interviews.   There is one fuzzy photo shot when she was 80 and surprisingly she looked great. But Bettie was well aware that this late in life people would be disappointed by what they would see.   She wanted the Bettie image to remain intact and not to be compromised by what time does to us all.

So now the mother of my sexuality lies in a Los Angeles hospital clinging to life and brings to mind one major question.    My God am I getting that fucking old?????

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Jay Squawking

The second biggest mistake NBC has made is to give Jay Leno five nights a week at 10 p.m. to do his little show. NBC's biggest mistake was to give the Tonight Show to that unfunny and talentless Conan O'brien. It is amazing that Jeff Zucker, who has really turned into the worst programmer of all time, is being allowed by GE to make such boneheaded mistakes.

Leno has been a success in late night. His ratings have remained high and the money has rolled into NBC's coffers. While Leno is no class act like David Letterman, he seems to appeal to the corn fed viewer and that is what makes him a winner.

So why lose him? It seems that if they didn't give Conan the "Tonight Show" by 2009 he would to be free to shop his act around. I'd say, let him go, but NBC saw him as too valuable. In what universe? That little upstart Craig Ferguson over on CBS is a much funnier and a better talent and is beating Conan in the ratings on a regular basis. What is so hot about Conan? Nothing comes to mind.

Even Zucker had to realize that getting rid of Leno was turning out to be one big mistake. Conan was bound to screw up the slot and diminish the late night profit center on a network that was in 4th place. Now Leno could go across town. There was no guarantee that he would be a sucess somewhere else, but he could knock Conan completely out of the game and probably push Letterman into number one. Not that Dave's numbers would go up, it's just that everyone elses would get chopped up.

So how to keep Leno? Enter this hair-brained scheme. Remember NBC is number 4 and not making the big bucks. By placing Leno across the board they don't have to pay for five much more expensive hour long dramas at about 3 million a week each. Leno's show will cost about 2 million a week, saving them at least 13 million dollars a week or over a cool 300 million a year. In the last several years a a lot of the hour long shows (ie:"My Worst Enemy") have done poorly for NBC. Some of dramas have done OK, and they are the shows they will most likely save and move to other time-slots. Five hours of programs will get cancelled. Maybe just 4 since "ER" is through at the end of this year. That's less jobs for people in Hollywood. I guess we are in fact seeing the first of the TV network layoffs.

Remember also that NBC a few years back decided to go with mostly reality shows in the 8 p.m. hour. While they have rolled some of that back you still have fat people losing weight and models opening briefcases. In short NBC is becoming a cable network.

It is said that in 2002 when David Letterman was contemplating a departure from CBS that NBC offered him a deal similar to Jay's but in the 8:00 time slot. Dave turned them down and stayed put at 31 million a year.....1 million more than Jay is getting for this deal.

The biggest part of this crap shoot is that Jay will be up against high rated programs on the other networks not just other talk shows like he is now. I like Jay. He's a great guy, but his "Tonight Show" has been embarrassing and it's amazing that he has done as well as he has with such a poorly executed show. Remember too that in late-night he is number one in a smaller universe with less audience to win over than that of prime-time. Will that be large enough to beat CSI?

Is this the death knell for NBC, the company that invented the network back in the days of radio? Will the Peacock be shot and served at the next Jeff Zucker executive dinner? Tune in to find out.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Where's Our Malcom X?

In honor of "Day a without gay" day today, our good friend and colleque Michael Billy offered up this guest blog.

Throughout December protests were organized across the nation. Gay marriage supporters marched in front of Mormon temples and city halls with signs that read “God hates bigots!” I thought this was going to be our time. Deep down I still hope it will be.

Largely, this depends on the gays. Sorry to say, but the ball is in our court. This “Day without a Gay” thing is little and late. Our community needs to take a few notes from groups like ACT UP and PETA to really create change. Weak and half assed protests like this will only show how disorganized we truly are.

The “Day without a Gay” effort encourages gays and others who oppose the same-sex marriage ban to take off work and volunteer for an advocacy group. The concept mirrors past efforts to have immigrant workers take a day off work to show their economic importance. All of which might work…IF WE WERE ALL ON BOARD!

The idea that a significant number of gays will stay home tomorrow is just ridiculous. Can we all just take a gaze at the history books so we’re all on the same page. The road to equal rights is NOT a yellow brick one Dorothy!” At the VERY least we should be bold enough to protest every catholic church in our communities.

I’m sure “no gay day” will inspire provocative conversation around the water cooler. Hell, it might even open up a few minds when stylists and dance teachers don’t show up to work today. But the effort is weak. If we are not all on board with this protest it will only show weakness. There was a time for diplomacy and a leader like Harvey Milk. That time has passed. Where is our Malcolm X?

It’s been a month since the election and we celebrate how far we have come as a society. As many of us remain shocked at our misconceptions of our neighboring states, we must keep a watchful eye on the last acceptable prejudice. Anyone who uses their own religious “beliefs” as reason to support proposition 8 has the blood of a failed civil rights movement on their hands.

I will not be polite, silent, or cordial. This is a matter of equal civil rights. So Mormons you can take your millions and invest it in some new magic god undies. And to my fellow gays…At the rate we’re going we won’t see rights for another 10 years. Get some balls, stop being polite, and for fucks sake…STOP giving gay awards to straight people because they are nice to you.

The Mormon’s who funded this, the people of California who voted yes, the Catholic church, and ALL who blindly follow silently while disagreeing…there is no question about it, you are responsible. Show some balls.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU -- MAYBE

This is a contribution by Bruce David, Editorial Director of Hustler Magazine

FCC Chairman Kevin J. Martin wants to give Internet providers the ability to put filters on what you can access on the net. It's intended, we are told, to protect children from porn on the Internet. But you already have that ability on your computer, if you buy the necessary software. Why give that power to some super authority that will tell you what you can see? And what guarantee do we have that the government wont decide at some future date to block other things it doesn't want you or me to know about? 

Martin has tied this proposal to plans he is drawing up which would supposedly provide free internet access to consumers. But that's another shell game: The free service would be slower than what you pay a monthly fee for. I suspect this would just be the beginning of a tiered system -- something net providers desperately want -- in which the speed of your net access will depend on how much you pay each month.

As for filters, I'm sure you wouldn't want me deciding what you or your children can view on the net. And I know I don't want you telling me what I can view. So why would I want Kevin J. Martin -- or any government authority -- to have that power over me? It's just a bad idea.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Squeezing OJ

They finally got him behind bars.  OJ Simpson is  going to a Nevada Prison and won't get out at least until he's 70.   We got the little bastard huh?   Are you happy now?   Hey let's face it the man got screwed big time.

Look, I don't know if he killed Nicole and her questionable pal Ron Goldman and neither do you. But in a court of law he was found not guilty and if you believe in the rule of law and our democracy, then you have to assume his innocence.   You have to do it in order to preserve your own rights.

For the 13  years to the day since the Brentwood Massacre, he has lived in a world where all eyes scowled at him because as some would say "We know he was guilty!"  Just how I might ask do you know?   Were you there?   Did you see him with the knife in his hand?   If you didn't then shut the fuck up.   Gut feeling has no place in a democracy.

Let's assume for moment that he did it.   He was found not guilty in a court of law by 12 of his peers.   Yes he had the money to skip the charge, but then there are those who don't and are innocent but haven't the funds to defend themselves against the unlimited financial resources of the state.    Call it "even Steven".   That's the way the system is and sure it needs to be changed but getting even with OJ isn't going to do it.   He played the game fair and square and America got pissed because this time the black guy got away.   You'll never hear a black person say that OJ got away with it, you only hear that from "whitey".

So OJ goes to Vegas for a wedding and comes out a felon.   I do believe those sports memorabilia people were dealing in stolen goods from OJ or at least Fred Goldman who owns most of OJ and his stuff. OK he went a bit overboard but I can sympathize with his reasoning. I think most of us can.   If it was anyone else, the dealers might not even have called the cops.   If it were anyone else they'd be cleaning out bedpans at an old folks home for a thousand hours. If it were anyone else, they would have been found not guilty.

Let's take a small detour.   How about that piece of shit Fred Goldman?   When is he just going to go away?   He's made a career out of OJ.   He even had a short lived TV show off the fame.    I understand someone being traumatized by the death of a son, but come on, this guy isn't doing this for his kid anymore, he's been so mesmerized by the harsh light of fame that he's addicted and probably doesn't even think about the Ron .

There were Fred and his daughter at the sentencing in the courtroom. How did he get in?  They say a lottery.  I say someone fixed the lottery.  Come on, both of them?  With that kind of luck they should hit the tables before leaving Vegas.  There was Fred gloating on the courthouse steps to any camera that would shoot him. Isn't there something wrong about all of this?  Now they are doing a victory lap, showing up this morning at the "Today" show where Meredeth Vierea threw softballs at them and assumed OJ's guilt in the deaths of Nicole and Ron.

Are you happy America?   Are you glad to be a vigilante?   I really don't give a shit about OJ but I do care about justice and how we conduct ourselves.   The outcome and the reaction, it's a sad day for America.