Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Where Are The Jobs?

Slowly but surely the American people are being strangled to death. Is it because there is no money out there? Not really but it's all being squirreled away by greedy companies who just want to keep making a high profit. The real reason why so many people are being let go is not that keeping them would drive the company under, but that they want to keep profits high in down times. The stupidity is that by letting people go they are only exacerbating the situation more and may be sealing their doom in the future.

On monday a record a record 75,000 job cuts were announced. How many of them were needed because there was no work for those people and how many were because those companies wanted to maximize profits in bad times.

Caterpillar who makes farm and construction equipment announced that 20,000 people would be laid off. If nobody is buying tractors then there is no sense in building them, but is 20,000 realistic or is that number unreasonably high in order to make a bigger profit in bad times?

Clear Channel an outfit that owns the most broadcast stations in America totaling over 1200 and a nationwide billboard business, let go 1,850 people. It is interesting that last year their revenues fell 9%, but they made a profit and that current number laid off is 9% of the company's total staffing. The question is are they afraid of going into the red or just wanting to keep profits the same as in better years?

We are living in times when people are expendable. In fact most companies look at the employee as a a liability where in the past they were an asset. Company loyalty to their staff is almost negligible and yet the company demands loyalty from them. It's a bad deal all around.

So what can the government do. First of all quit bailing out companies who will take the money and let people go. Earmark that money for job security and nothing else. But if its a chance to help a corporation or help the people, guess who's taking a walk? The only reason the government wants to get money in the hands of the people is so they will turn around and spend it on the corporation, not to put food in their mouth but when they do, they dole out the food in a manner that makes people grovel at the cost of their self esteem.

I wish I could come up with a rosy end to this blog, but there isn't one. Maybe it's just that capitalism is a miserable failure and nobody is ready to admit it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Lefty Obamanation

By Tom Tamaguchi

Barack Hussein Obama did not waste any time before publicly flaunting his perverse, degenerate lifestyle. Sitting down to sign the first proclamation of his presidency, witnesses stood in horror as Obama grabbed his pen with his left hand. Then, with the audacity that has become his trademark, Obama glared at the shocked onlookers and blurted out, "I'm a lefty. Get used to it." With that act, the rumors that had circulated during the campaign were finally confirmed. Our newly elected President has chosen the left-handed lifestyle.

Religious leaders have pointed to the tendency of Americans to elect left-handed leaders as a sign our nation is headed to moral oblivion. Past presidents such have Bill Clinton have tried to keep their sinister tendencies quiet. Ronald Reagan successfully converted to the proper hand, though it took years of therapy. It is said, that while governor of California, several interventions were performed at a secret location near Lake Tahoe. For Barack Obama, it may already be too late.

"It's shameful, " says the Reverend Gilbert Procturn. "All major religions reject the left-handed lifestyle as morally repugnant. The left hand is the unclean hand. You use your left hand to wipe yourself after using the toilet. When I see our President touching a legal document with his unclean hand, it is like he is wiping himself with the United States Constitution."

There is no doubt in Rev. Procturn's mind that sinisterism is against all that Christianity stands for. "Ask our good Roman Catholic brothers and sisters. If they tried to grab a pencil with the wrong hand in Catholic School, there would be a nun with a ruler on top of them ready to inflict serious damage. If they didn't comply, you better believe those left hands would end up in no condition to hold anything."

This approach may seem a bit severe to some in the psychological community. Richard Coma of the Brain Healing Institute has developed a cure for what he calls Opposite Brain Disorder or OBD. "Lefties are thinking in the wrong side of their brains, and we need to reach out with God's love to help them with their problem." Coma developed his methods through interventions similar to Reagan's treatments in a secret Lake Tahoe condominium. Coma admits that he once chose the sinister lifestyle. "My therapist was a big man. He was very powerful and firm. After one weekend session, I found I could use my right hand and enjoy it."

Now it is Coma who is administering the treatments. "If I have a relapse, I can even perform the treatments on myself." He admits that not all of his peers approve of his method. "They took away my license to practice psychotherapy. It was all very political. They just don't want their patients to know the truth."

Coma cites statistics and provides evidence the left-handed die younger and live completely miserable lives. "Nobody really wants to be left-handed. Doesn't everybody want to be normal, I mean, like everybody else?"

Coma supports himself by selling books and conducting trainings at the Brain Healing Institute. His book for parents, Growing up Right, shows how OBD can be caught and reversed at a very young age. "Restraining the left hand behind your child's back is one way you can heal OBD. It may sound harsh, but think of it as tough love. Have faith and remember that OBD can be cured."

The Reverend Procturn is more pessimistic. "Showing Obama with his left hand hooked around his pen and smiling like that sends the wrong message to our nation's youth. If we don't condemn this shameful public performance, kids will think there is nothing wrong with it. Obama is recruiting them to his perverted, sinister lifestyle. Obama and all of them are headed straight to hell. We have to take a moral stand for this country. "

Would we have been better off if Obama had not been elected? "No," admitted the Reverend. "There is no hope. McCain is left-handed, too."

Monday, January 26, 2009

Digital Exam

With the February "drop dead" date for the digital conversion of television moved to June 12th, I figured it was time to run one of my Hustler columns that dealt with this mess.  It was edited as always by Bruce David.

OK. Here’s the exam. What does the date February 17, 2009 mean to you? Sure you know you’ve seen it somewhere but can remember. How about the lower third of your favorite TV show. Now you’ve got it. That’s the day TV goes completely digital and your old reliable standby analog TV will disappear forever. Have I lost you yet? Well if I have here’s a little primer.

In May 1941 the FCC adopted what we now have as our television standard of 525 scan lines. An electron beam sketched the picture in small lines across the face of the television tube. The total number of those lines amounted to 525. We weren’t the first with TV , Germany and Great Britain were doing it in the ’30 and their scan lines were more at 625 and 725. Why we adopted an inferior system is beyond me, but I bet it had something to do with politics and payoffs. The more lines the better the definition of the picture. That’s why if you’ve ever watched TV in Europe, the picture always seemed so much better. To add to all this confusion every country had a different system. Ours was called “NTSC”. Europe had “PAL” while even other countries had “SECAM”. There was no worldwide standard. What a mess.

TV here began to make its commercial debut in 1946. It would have been earlier but the world war held off our launch. It was black and white and it was fuzzy, but people would sit around happily watching the old Indian head test pattern just because it was there. 

Color didn’t come along that much later. The first system to be approved by the FCC was from CBS who started broadcasting color in 1951. It involved a large whirling color wheel and was incompatible with black and white. RCA ‘s system wasn’t approved because it really wasn’t ready for primetime. In spite of it all RCA persevered by among other things, coming up with a compatible system, improving on the original set and by starting rumors that the color wheel of the CBS sets could come loose and decapitate its viewers. The fight was a prolonged affair, but CBS gave up due to production problems. The eventual winner was RCA. RCA’s TV network NBC started colorcasts in 1953.

Since that time 55 years ago nothing has really changed with the possible exception of the addition of stereo sound.

In the meantime other countries, notably Japan, had been working on new systems meant to create a picture of High Definition. Most of them were analog as opposed to digital. 

I suppose another explanation is due. Analog is a variable continuous signal. Digital is a series of 0’s and 1’s basically representing on and off. Digital is said to be more flexible and efficient than analog and uses less bandwidth. Still scratching your head? Never mind it’s not important to know how it works as much as that it exists and that everyone’s going to get rich from it.
The FCC then mandated that there should be a cut off date for analog television and after many tries finally came up with February 17, 2009. Yes it’s a Tuesday which makes no sense at all.

So is all this better for you? Well the old system was ancient, but who this is really great for are the people who make TV equipment. There’s just no way they will lose on this deal.

If you have an old fashioned tube set, you must have a converter, which can be had for around $50 and less if you get a coupon from the government. However don’t buy that converter or throw out your TV set just yet. If you have cable or satellite you are ready good to go since that’s all you will need. If you don’t it’s time to get that converter or just buy a new fangled digital picture box.

The cost of the flat screen digital TV’s are coming down to what tube prices once were. If you look around you can get into a 32” for around $500.

All that said, what happens to people who need food first and rely on over the air signals as their only source of entertainment and information? Hasn’t anybody heard that there’s a recession on? Gas costs a bundle and “Mac and Cheese” is a major staple.

There might have been a better way. Those old channels could have been kept on the air but the telecommunication boys have been drooling to get their hands on them for years. Think of the Trillions being spent by everyone to do the conversion. it’s good for business.

Here’s how this is this good for you? Remember all those crappy shows on your old TV? Now they will all be in Hi-Def.

All this still confusing? Then let me tell you about the two digital systems 1080i and 720p not to mention the 1080p they can’t broadcast but is on Blu-ray……..

Aww fuck it! It’s all a big mess.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Sunday Funnies

So there we were in California for my induction into the "San Francisco Bay Area Radio Hall Of Fame" and we had just come back from visiting an old high school buddy.  While at his place we talked about old times and he let it slip that I used to use "Jerry Bennett" as my show business nom de plume.   Well this set "Girlfriend" into hysterics and by the time we got back to my business manager's place in Larkspur she couldn't stop laughing.   Here she tries to profess her undying love for me but just can't.    Jerry????  I was young and unimaginative.